Relationship Astrology (5) Venus Rules Romantic Love, But Marriage Is Ruled By Saturn

I was browsing books in Borders the other day, and read a spiritual teacher’s dialogue with his student that went something like this:

Student: “When I’m in a relationship, how could I tell if my partner is seriously in love with me, or if she’s just playing a game?”

Teacher: “Now that’s really difficult to answer, because you see, love relationship is a game – so by definition, you’re playing – you’re not there to be serious.”

I don’t know about you, but I thought that was a beautiful explanation of romantic love – if everyone understood it, maybe there would be less hurt feelings.

Where wrong expectations occur
Romantic relationship is definitely a game ruled by Venus – she is all about play and beauty – that’s why we dance together, sing songs, write poems and make each other laugh in a relationship. Venus is charming and fickle, and is not known for being faithful – what we call “a serious relationship” isn’t really her idea.

Marriage and other long term commitments are more under the rule of Saturn – it’s about voluntarily choosing to restrict your options, and within that boundary we try to build something worthwhile and lasting, like a home and a family. We also note that many cultures practiced arranged marriages (some still do today) -which made marriages entirely Saturnian events.

We know that love and responsibilities (seriousness) are both necessary, but it can cause a lot of heartache if the partners go into a relationship with different sets of expectations. It won’t work if you try to bring Saturn into the relationship (i.e demand seriousness & commitment etc) when your partner just wants to be in love, and vice versa.

Giving Venus Her Space in a Long Term Relationship
It takes a special grace to make love happen in a legally committed relationship such as marriage. Knowing that love and seriousness (responsibility) are ruled by different gods, if you will, might help us to honor both: we can be playful yet committed. The partners may feel stifled if the relationship becomes only about responsibilities – and this may make them want to start looking for love outside of the relationship.

The balance between the two gods have to be achieved according to each partner’s make up. Each of us fall somewhere on the spectrum between wanting more playfulness and needing more seriousness. Knowing where your partner is on the scale may help you to appreciate him/her needs better – since it is more likely that you have chosen someone that have different needs from you.

About Hiroki Niizato

Hiroki Niizato is a professional consulting astrologer in Florida, serving clients in US and abroad. He has been practicing astrology professionally since 2001. Hiroki is a highest honor graduate of the demanding Master’s Degree Certification Course in Astrology by Noel Tyl.

You can contact Hiroki via email at: or Phone: 727-470-4056 to ask a question or schedule a consultation.


  1. Ana Cristina says:

    Hiroki, beautiful, yes no doubt if you want to stay longer in relationship you need to keep and enjoy the "game".

  2. Hiroki Niizato says:

    Thanks Ana Cristina,

    I think a lot of insights in relationships can come if we can appreciate Venus' playful spirit.

  3. What a beautiful post! Thank you. Now I appreciate my Venus in Gemini a lot more.

  4. Hiroki Niizato says:

    You're welcome Eme,

    Enjoy your Venus in Gemini! :)

  5. Karen James says:

    Hiroki … this is another gem! I'd never considered marriage to be ruled by Saturn … but I can see how Saturn's true grit and determination are sometimes needed to see us through very rough patches … and how the fun-loving Venus needs to nurtured … again we are looking at a balance between discipline and play … very important for me with UA Saturn in the 10th! I am just loving these blogs of yours … previously I subscribed via rss feeds, but I never received notice … now I can see them on Buzz and I've also subscribed via my gmail … looking forward to exploring more of your old blogs and reading your new ones!! Thanks for sharing these cogent insights with us!!!

  6. Hiroki Niizato says:

    Thank you Karen, you're very kind! :)

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