Individuation vs Connection: Astrology of Human Relationships

A human relationship is not based on differentiation and perfection, for these only emphasize the differences or call forth the exact opposite; it is based, rather, on imperfection, on what is weak, helpless and in need of support – the very ground and motive of dependence.

C. G. Jung in The Undiscovered Self [boldface mine]

Jung seems to suggest that we connect to others through our weaknesses rather than strength.

Astrologically, Uranus stands for individuation and differentiation. While Uranian individuation makes us interesting and unique, it is not necessarily conducive to strengthening emotional bonds with others.

The “perfection” is an idealized image of self held unconsciously, and always accompanied by judgment toward the weak (to whom the “perfect” one projects all of his weaknesses.) The signature of idealism is the connection between Mercury, Venus, or the Sun, in any combination; also, involvement between Jupiter and Neptune, or their contact with Sun or Moon.

When such idealistic signature is tied to the Ascendant or the Sun, we could look for the idealistic image held by the ego about itself to create a rift in relationships, through projection of one’s imperfection to others. In addition, emphasis of Fire or Air may exacerbate superiority complex (Fire through its force, Air through intellect.) Judgment results from idealized self image.

Some celebrities have a difficult time with this, as they often play the image of perfection in the public imagination, and may come to internalize the idealized image about themselves: when you believe you are perfect, you won’t be able to establish connection with another person on an emotional, vulnerable level.

The “weakness” Jung refers to seems to suggest the vulnerability and sensitivity of Water signs, and perhaps Neptune. In synastry or transit, Neptune involvement is an interesting clue of romantic relationship.

One couple I know has the woman’s Neptune = man’s Sun/Moon midpoint, her sensitivity and vulnerability making a deep connection to his core. They share an idealistic vision together, and has a strong emotional bond. Another couple had synastric conjunctions between his Moon and her Venus, and her Moon and his Venus: these are also vulnerable emotional contact that makes lasting connections possible.

In contrast, Uranus doesn’t seem to bode well for connection in synastry or transit – here we feel very different from the other person, so much so that connection seems impossible or unnecessary. I once had a girlfriend whose Venus was conjunct my Mars-Uranus conjunction. As the inter-aspect suggests, the relationship was sexually exciting; but there was no emotional connection.

Would a naturally Uranian birth chart have a difficulty in keeping stable relationships? Maybe – Wayne Dyer just popped into my mind (he has Uranus conjunct Sun): he is definitely an individuated person, and he has divorced three times out of three.

About Hiroki Niizato

Hiroki Niizato is a professional consulting astrologer in Florida, serving clients in US and abroad. He has been practicing astrology professionally since 2001. Hiroki is a highest honor graduate of the demanding Master’s Degree Certification Course in Astrology by Noel Tyl.

You can contact Hiroki via email at: or Phone: 727-470-4056 to ask a question or schedule a consultation.


  1. Dear Hiroki,

    I much appreciate your generosity of spirit in allowing us to wander through your multitudinous writings. Your information is in-depth, as well as edgy, which presents readers—such as I—with far more astrological value than one may find in the websites of many other astrologers. You write clearly, concisely and interestingly, with an entertaining and enticing manner. On behalf of all of us who appreciate you, a big THANK YOU!!

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