It’s painful to try to control your life from a small space in the left hemisphere of your brain.

But that’s what I was trying to do, for so many years. My mentor told me “You do this because
it’s safer to live there – you get to disconnect from painful feelings.”

And there is some power in the intellect. Enough to get the job done and be paid well. In terms of the level of joy, though, you end up very poor because you’ve left home.

“There is a feeling of deadness in my chest” one person told me in a consultation some time ago. He was a successful professional, but was making the same mistake.

The flight to the closed space in our head (left side) is a reaction that some of us will choose, as a result of painful experience some time in the past. We could expect it if the horoscope has heavily Scorpio/Plutonian emphasis, as well as a strong Mercury complex. It’s like we begin to rely on our strength just a little too much, and try to make life work from the head, detached from the rest of us.

The result is that the ego becomes defined by intellect and control. The feeling of power that comes from living in our head overcompensates for the underlying powerlessness.

Neptune/Pisces complex is antithetical to all of this, and it requires that you give up control. I am presently going through a major transit called Neptune square Sun/Moon midpoint, and living from the head stopped working entirely in my relationships.

So one night it got so bad, and I was on my knees praying (something I haven’t done in a long time), and suddenly something broke open: I felt a sense of peace and grace that I haven’t experienced in years – it was like I was liberated from this tiny cage that was the left side of my brain, and there was this vast space filled with wind and light.

At the moment I was praying, basically I gave up control of my life as I seemed to be making a mess of it, and have asked the higher power (whatever you want to call it) to run my life. And everything came into place – emotionally, relationship wise, and now I think and work better.

All this is to say that I have a Scorpio Sun with Pisces rising, and a very strong Mercury. The balance was lost, and this Neptunian transit was the period when the balance was restored. Now I’m praying a lot more, and trying to let in the higher power in everything – so this seems to be one of the significant spiritual breakthroughs of my life.

If you have similar experiences under Neptunian transit, please feel free to email me or add comments below. Thanks for reading, and happy Independence Day!

Name Contains Power

Ancient myths of East and West tell of a power held in one’s name: to know someone’s (usually a god or some spirit’s) name was to hold power over it. This idea has been used beautifully in the modern works of fantasy novelist Ursula K Le Guin, as well as animator Hayao Miyazaki.

Think about your own name for a second: it’s so powerful that your brain can hear someone saying your name across a crowded room. Ever since you were born, people around you have been using it to name and define you: “Look at what Johnny did! What a smart boy you are,” an adoring parent might say, thereby helping the child to link his name (Johnny) with an attribute (smart.)

How powerful is it when a father sincerely tells a young daughter “Jane, baby, I love you” every day, thereby creating a lasting impression of her name linked with the reception of caring and tenderness from an omnipotent being (which all parents are to a young child)? Then the child’s name becomes a blessing that could potentially last a lifetime.

And then there are unfortunate incidents of judgments and condemnation passed onto us through our name (“Look at what Johnny did! Why do you have to make a mess of everything?” etc) whether from parents, siblings or other children. In severe cases where criticism and shaming becomes the daily ritual, the child’s name can actually become a curse that lasts a long time.

Your Name Holds Feelings You Have About Yourself

All these emotions – some uplifting, some devastating – are stored into a single focal point – your name. Say your full name out loud, and you can feel the emotions contained within this powerful symbol – do you feel proud and confident, or insecure and even ashamed?

This is why it’s so important to take good care of other people’s names. We cherish the sound of our name being spoken with love, by those closest to us. We also feel the pain upon hearing our name being used in a blaming, critical or belittling way. And then there is the case of no one calling our name, ever – what happens then? We become invisible – there is no “me” – that’s what abandonment feels like, and the name stores that emotion too.

The Custom of Child Name and Adult Name

In some old cultures like ancient Japan or native American culture, you were given a child-name at birth, then later received your adult name when you were old enough. I think this was a very effective custom designed to help each person discard the childish identity attached to his/her name (along with any sense of insecurity and powerlessness attached to it), and become a strong adult who is part of the community.

Somehow I’m inclined to think there was less of what we today call a “Peter Pan syndrome” in those cultures…Probably there was no blaming the boss (parents), no victim behaviors. All of that was discarded with the child name.

The moral of the story is not so much to change your name literally in a new age way, but to realize that you can choose to adopt a different, altogether more empowering identity if you like. As an adult, you’re free to shape your own identity!

Taking Care Of Your Name – and Other People’s Names.

Remember to use your name in conjunction with uplifting phrases – treat your name as sacred, because it is. While you’re at it, treat other people’s names the same way – never use them without attaching it to some positive emotions.

The myth is real – by knowing someone’s name, you hold power over them – the power to speak blessing or curse into their life, potentially lasting a long, long time. Great leaders (including good parents) know about this power, and they take care of people’s names well.

Element: Air – Social connection and intellectual expression strengthens the self image
Mode: Fixed – Stability, patience and reliability leads to personal power

For Aquarius Ascendant, there is a need to be socially significant, through the expression of individuality. Having a Leo Descendant suggests that personal significance is often experienced in the realm of relationships with others, and dealing with the public.

Uranus’ (ruler of Aquarius) position in the natal chart, through house placement, rulership, aspects etc, will suggest how/where the expression of individuality can be most expected:

In Obama’s horoscope Uranus is in the 7th house (the public), and contacts the Midheaven (career). This suggests “public career”, and the fact that Uranus is unaspected by other planets (called “peregrine” by Noel Tyl) makes its expression even stronger.

Actor Shia La Beouf has Uranus in 10th house, aspecting Sun (ruler of 7th) and Jupiter (ruler of the Midheaven) – a social significance attained through magnified, individualistic career expression.

Interestingly, Karl Marx also has Uranus in the 10th, but aspecting Saturn and Pluto (ruler of 9th) – which corroborates the social significance he attained through serious academic expression.

The individuation need is great for people born with Aquarius Ascendant, probably because of the intense social awareness that comes with this placement: for them, other people’s individuality and social significance are recognized so vividly that it becomes imperative to become (at least) as interesting as the people around them.

Element: Earth – work and practical accomplishments strengthen the self image.
Mode: Cardinal – initiative leads to focused identity

For a Capricorn Ascendant, the identity is focused, clarified, and strengthened through getting things done. The experience gained in the years of showing one’s work to others will gradually create a savvy, competent persona who is at ease in the world.

Maturity seems to come early for people with Capricorn rising. The childhood may end sooner than most, through some isolated incidents or general hardships, exposing him/her to the adult reality a little too soon.

The price for early maturity is often that of emotional development, and sensitive emotions of a child may be left unexpressed and unexplored, resulting in a serious attitude toward life. Often emotional nourishment through relationships will provide the necessary balance (note that Cancer rules the Descendant.)

Here, we find ourselves through making things happen in real life – finishing a doctorate, making a movie, running a business, writing a book, etc. Famous examples of Capricorn Ascendant include Sean Connery (actor/filmmaker), Jane Fonda (actress/political activist), Larry King (TV & Radio host), and Jack Welch (former CEO of GE.)

Element: Fire – Self assertion fuels identity focus.
Mode: Mutable – Self image is fortified through growing in intellectual complexity and/or cultural diversification.

Sagittarius Ascendant suggests that one needs to assert himself passionately, for what he believes in. Your words, actions, even the way you dress and carry yourself will be affected by your conviction – or the lack of it.

Passion is the keyword – For someone with this Ascendant to feel “right” about herself, she needs to believe in the truth of the words she utters, as well as the actions she chooses to perform. If you are a musician, you need to believe in every note you play, with ferocious passion – same goes with other forms of creative expression, be it acting, giving a speech, leading an organization or creating a business.

In order for your force of conviction to be well received by others, there needs to be a considerable development of knowledge and experience in the field you are in – otherwise your statement (artistic, political, academic or otherwise) lacks credibility, and people will not respect it. In short, the respect has to be earned.

Some examples:

• Actress Jodie Foster is a great example of the “passionate conviction” – many of her roles call for this, and we can feel the sheer force of her character’s belief in herself.
• Musician Charles Mingus is an extremely opinionated and charismatic leader of his own jazz band, and his personality permeates all of his compositions (there is a recording called “Mingus plays Piano” wherein he talks between playing, and it is a delightful mixture of musical wisdom and strong opinions). Some other musicians with the same ASC: Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley.
• Late William Rehnquist, the former Supreme Court Chief Justice, also has Sagittarius Ascendant, and so does Patch Adams – the doctor who was portrayed by Robin Williams in the movie.

No matter what field we’re in, Sagittarius Ascendant suggests that we need to communicate and act out our conviction – if we are not happy with where we are, we may need to ask ourselves “What belief am I acting out at this time? Does that empower me or hold me back?”

Let’s say there are 10 signs of repressed anger:

1) You are always calm, and seldom feel angry. But you don’t feel any joy, either.
2) You feel judgmental towards others.
3) You have been abused in the past, but you can’t seem to recall how it felt.
4) You keep attracting partners that seem to have “anger problems.”
5) You can feel sad, hurt, worried, etc, but not angry.
6) You have violent fantasies.
7) You mistake being out of touch with being calm.
8) You feel depressed.
9) In an argument, it’s important for you to prove you’re right.
10) You’re always tired.

If several of these apply to you, maybe you have hidden anger.

Astrologically there are several measurements we can watch for:

• Mars in 12th house, near the Ascendant (within 10 degrees especially, according to Noel Tyl.)
• Saturn and/or Pluto in hard aspect with Mars could easily turn into hidden anger, especially if other measurements also suggest emotional suppression (e.g. Moon in 8th/12th; Sun in hard aspect with Pluto, etc.)
• Presence of Scorpio planets may suggest the necessity for some psychological digging.

As astrologers we don’t want to be too rigid about applying these measurements, but use them as tools to facilitate meaningful discussions.

The key idea in discussing hidden anger is that people will not be able to heal this until they are able to consciously feel the emotion. Successful integration of hidden anger leads to increased energy, more self assertion and better self esteem. It’s by no means a quick process, but more like a slow reclaiming of one’s lost emotions.