3rd House in Astrology: How Our Parent’s Attitude Affects Our Mindset

3rd House in Astrology

3rd house represents our mindset.  In this post we’ll explore how our horoscope shows the interconnection between our parents’ attitude and our own mindset.

Our Mindset & Our Parent’s Attitude at Work
3rd house represents our parent’s attitude toward work (3rd house is the derivative 6th of 10th house).  A man who grew up seeing his father working two jobs every day and hating it, realized one day that he was always exhausted working 60-70 hrs a week, working 2 jobs and hating it – just like his father.

Upon exploring this correlation, he realized that his underlying attitude was always that of “No matter how hard I work, what I do is not enough” which resulted in a defeated mindset and working too hard for too little reward, which was what he saw his father do.

By working on reversing this thought pattern (replacing “what I do isn’t enough – I’m not enough” with “I deserve to succeed – I am enough“), he began to value himself – and his talent – more, which resulted in increased sales and self confidence (check out other Helpful Affirmations related to each of the 12 houses.)

Our Mindset & Our Parent’s Hidden Weaknesses
3rd house is the derivative 12th (secret & self-undoing) of the 4th house (home, family, parent.)  Our family’s secrets, as well as hidden self-destructive tendencies of our parents (one or both) deeply shaped our mindset.  It’s quite common to see children adopting disempowering thought patterns from their parents well into adulthood (studies have shown that daughters of depressed mothers have a higher risk of developing depression themselves.)

If one or both of our parents took refuge in escapist behaviors (12th house) such as drinking, overeating or abandonment, we may find ourselves preferring to avoid difficult situations altogether in life, adopting a passive, escapist attitude.

If we saw our parents fail in work or marriage through self destructive behaviors (self-undoing), it’ll be crucial for us to be able to separate their failures from our mindset, so that we do not take on a defeatist attitude.


If the 3rd house is under tension (through planets in or ruling it), it’s worthwhile exploring our parents’ attitude toward work and their hidden weaknesses, and ask ourselves if we’ve unconsciously assimilated their thought patterns and behaviors into our mindset.

Often, realizing the connection between our thought patterns and that of our parents could be powerful enough to initiate the change of mindset for the better.

How does your mindset reflect your parents’ behaviors and attitudes, and does your 3rd house show it in some way?  Did you have to make an effort to develop a more positive mindset? Please feel free to share your experience via email or in the comment section.

About Hiroki Niizato

Hiroki Niizato is a professional consulting astrologer in Florida, serving clients in US and abroad. He has been practicing astrology professionally since 2001. Hiroki is a highest honor graduate of the demanding Master’s Degree Certification Course in Astrology by Noel Tyl.

You can contact Hiroki via email at: Hiroki@hniizato.com or schedule a consultation.


  1. This is very insightful, thank you for sharing! My third house is in Aquarius, I’m an Aries Sun with Mars in Aqua in the 3rd squaring my Jupiter in Taurus in the 6th and Pluto in Scorpio in the 12th. My mother was an Aquarius who died from Alcoholism when I was quite young (strangely, or perhaps not considering the aspects, her death was a very enlightening and freeing time for me). Trying to get her to stop drinking was a pretty big part of my childhood. I was never able to but I had a friend a little later in life who was like a mother to me that was close to the brink of death from Alcoholism who did turn her life around. My father is also an alcoholic but he was always a “happy drunk” (he is a Pisces Sun) but still, that’s 3 parental figures with heavy 12th house traits.
    I have tried my hardest to avoid difficult situations in life and I definitely have a passive and escapist attitude, especially when it comes to difficult conversations, to the point that I isolate myself a lot and prefer not to communicate with people often. I thought that was solely due to my Scorpio Ascendant with Pluto in the 12th but after reading this I think my 3rd house placement and my parents have a lot to do with it too.
    So will consciously changing how I relate my parent’s experiences and weaknesses to myself help me to stop being so drawn to isolation, avoidance and escapism? I understand that will always be a part of my personality with a Scorpio Ascendant but it has gotten out of control.

    • Hi Natalie, thank you for sharing your experience. 3rd house Mars in contact with 12th house Pluto seems to reflect the theme of needing to heal from the effect your parents had on your mind and subconscious. Once you come through the hardest part of it, you might be able to offer a lot of insight and inspiration for those facing similar challenges.

  2. I have north node (Aquarius) in third house. My sibling relationships have been strained and our mother was neglectful to us; so now they are neglectful towards me. Are there ways to empower myself to fulfill my karmic destiny through my n. node in this house. Bright thanks!

    • Hi Alex, 3rd house is mostly about how we think and communicate – so going through necessary evolution in this area is the key focus. Your sibling relationship might be another matter, but we can hope a good communication could open up the door.

  3. Hi, thank you for your post, it’s very helpful :)

    My third house cusp is in Libra, I have in this house Venus at 19′”, Mercury at 20′”, Sun at 23′” and Pluto in 16′” Escorpio at the bottom (2 grades from 4th house cusp)

    And I have Saturn in Capricorn at 19′” (1 grade from 6th house cusp)

    I want to live and be happy with my job. I’ve studied arts, and now I work as artisan; very low income, much work load, poor conditions and the constant presure to be successful from the society and from myself. Survive it’s not enough.

    I write as a side job, I know I will be very successful (soon) so I want to thank you for this insight, now I’m conscious of the patterns inherited from my father (He works in flea markets like Myself, he struggles all his life, never make it, he is poor, my mother practically sustains him. )
    I will practice the affirmations you write above in this article, a lot.
    I know doing only that’s insufficient, but I will do my best in all areas 🔥✨

    You’re a great astrologer not because you’re wise or powerful, but because you heal people.

    Thank you.

  4. Anna Denisova says

    It is difficult for me to talk about this probably because, with four planets, Jupiter, Moon, Mars and Saturn, in the third house in virgo, I have a hard time disentangling myself from my family beliefs and values. What I know for sure is that it has always been a challenge in my adult life to speak out and stand up for myself whereas I have never hesitated a second to defend somebody else. Oftentimes I have felt like I have no opinion of my own at all! Somehow I am indifferent to many things that make other people tick. It is funny though that I find it hard to rationalize when I have virgo on the third house cusp. As for escapist behaviour, my main escapist tendency manifested itself when I fled as far as I could from my direct family, which I loved but which unfortunately was completely disfunctional.

  5. I always love reading your articles! :)
    For me, I have Capricorn on my 3rd house cusp with saturn conjunct pluto in my 12th house. I’m not sure how this plays out as possible attitudes inherited towards work :-/

  6. Awesome post …

    I have never seen my 3rd house in such a way … Thank you

    I have Pluto in my 3rd house which is squared by 3 planets in 12th house and 1 planet in 6th ….

    The post is so insightful to me …

    My escapist mindset towards life very much shown in my dad’s drinking addiction ..

  7. Thank you very much to your article sir ☻, thogh I don’t have any planets in Third House ~~. Does asteroid count? Because Vertex is here in my chart

    • Vertex is a theoretical point and not an asteroid. Rather than something like vertex, look at the ruler of the third house (ruling planet of the sign on the 3rd house cusp) to assess its condition.

  8. The story at the top falls right in with me, I’m working like a dog as a carer 70 hours a week for very little money, mostly its voluntary and I feel tired all the time. I’m not enjoying what I always believed I would enjoy. I grew up with my mother who worked very hard as an appliqué artist I learned a few things and imagined in ten years I’d have my own factory. I worked in the factorys and couldve been the next production manager but that was after the thatcher years when the production lines started to become a thing of the past! I feel so down things have not gone according to my wishes, but your words have resonated with me, and reminded me of my sister Janines words back in the 80’s when she noticed me screwing my face up at the sink whilst i was doing the washing up, she said what’s the matter? I said I don’t know I was not conscious I was tensing my face. I said maybe its because I don’t like washing up? She said Diane if you have to do something that you don’t like to have to do, just learn to enjoy it! Lol i wanted to laugh at the time but ive had to humble myself and learn that was a more positive view, 30 odd years later here I stand with the same expression on my face at the kitchen sink doing the washing up… Same old same old! Quite Ironic that I should come across this page today but then Saturn is almost at the end of my 6th house of work heading into my relationship zone ;-( about to lay down the limitations in my love life now too!

  9. moon 3rd house sucks-i just overeat and abandon work like both my parents

  10. Thanks so much for your reply sir.
    I have pluto trine moon. In general, the moment my attention or needs have moved away from work i have suffered heavily so far in life.

    Kind of bad situation as in if i immerse myself in work , i stand accused of ignoring people and then if i take interest in people I am told i should mind my business. Guess my social skills organ do not exist :)

    I have sun in libra in 11th house & venus in scorpio with mercury in 12th house scorpio. Am scorpio ascendant with neptune in scorpio 1st house.

    Thanks for you reply. Touched!

  11. Natal moon in 3rd house capricorn. What would that mean sir ?

    • Naturally it depends on the condition of your Moon, but this placement suggests a very work-oriented parent. In the case of intensely aspected Moon, there may have been a workaholic tendency displayed by one or both of your parents so that not too much attention was paid to your emotional needs.

  12. Thank you so much Hiroki:)

  13. I meant it, sorry about the typo:)

  14. Thank you so much Hiroki :) My Venus is square Ascendant and I am not too sure if its interferes with this placement.

  15. Hi Hiroki,

    Thank you for such an insightful post :) I have Venus in Aquarius in 3rd house and my 3rd House Ruler Uranus is in the 12th house. What does it mean?

    • Hi Sarah,

      Thanks :) Unless Venus is majorly under stress via hard aspects, this placement suggests a friendly & helpful attitude in relationships. Uranus, ruler of the 3rd, being in the 12th house adds a shade of complexity in that you may feel unsafe about expressing yourself freely, especially if it makes you stand out from others in some way. In the context of this article, you’d be asking yourself what kind of attitude you’ve “inherited” from your parents that may have resulted in you concealing a part of yourself.

  16. Thank you for this insightful post, Hiroki. What might the interpretation be if there are no planets in the 3rd house, but asteroids (Chiron and Vesta, specifically) show up?

    • Hi Lauren,

      Chiron located in your 3rd house suggests the necessity for healing some wounds in this area. You can also check to see if the ruler of the 3rd house is under tension. Not too sure about Vesta here, but you may want to consider whether your parents’ attitudes reflect the asteroid’s energy (devotion etc).

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