11th House in Astrology: Love Received from Others
Noel Tyl defines the 5th House as “the love we give to others,” and the opposing 11th house as the love we receive from others.
11th House Tension and “Not Feeling Lovable”
When the ruler of 11th house is under strong developmental tension (i.e. forming a hard aspect with Mars, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune or Pluto), quite often there is a feeling of “not being lovable,” based on accumulated feelings of criticism, rejection or abandonment.
As 10th house is the derivative 12th house of 11th, a problematic relationship with the father often contributes to the feeling of not being lovable. A retrograde Saturn is usually involved, and reinforces the possibility of a remote/problematic father that didn’t show affection or leadership.
Strong Need for Love
The presence of Saturn or outer planets (Uranus, Neptune or Pluto) within 11th house intensifies the need for receiving love. You might feel frustrated, upset, sad or even enraged when your partner doesn’t meet your expectations.
Often such difficulties are signals that point out your need to be more self-reliant, expressive, spiritually fulfilled or emotionally restored.
Developing Our Ability to Receive Love
Even though it’s easy to think of “receiving love” as being entirely up to someone else’s will, in truth we play quite an active part in how much love we experience from our children, friends or partners. Sometimes being receptive to love is as much a learned skill as giving love is.
Experts say that we all differ in the way we prefer to give and receive love. The way we prefer to give love (e.g. through verbal expressions, affectionate behaviors, or tangible gifts, etc) is often the way we’d like to receive it. It’s possible that your partner is showing you many signs of his or her love for you, but you don’t recognize them because they don’t come in the form you expect.
How many signs can you find that others love you? How do you receive other people’s compliments, helpful ideas or concerns (e.g. with indifference or with appreciation)? You may realize that you’re receiving a lot more love and care from your family, friends and partner than you believed.