What Kind Of Venus Does a Relationship Guru Have? (2) John Gray

Best known for “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,” psychotherapist and writer John Gray (chart) is the popular authority on love, sex and relationships. He was once married to Barbara De Angelis (the other relationship guru), but divorced her and now lives with his current wife and three children.

Gray’s Venus is prominently located on the Descendant. It rules his ASC (like Barbara De Angelis’ Venus), so an added importance is placed on relationships. Venus in Scorpio covers wide range of expression (from passionate sexuality to ecstatic spirituality), and I have heard him say that he was actually living as a celibate monk for several years, being able to hear the angels sing in his meditations.

He said once he was reintroduced to sexuality after that time period, he quickly became fascinated with sex itself (note the Scorpio Venus’ transition from celibacy to hyper sexuality), and it seems the decision to focus on relationships and communications between sexes came as a result of this.

His Venus is also squared by Pluto ruler of 7th, and in his case it seems to intensify the psychological insight, as well as the public (7th house) projection of his charm and charisma (Mars conjunct Neptune.)

Pluto-Venus aspect often suggests ‘wasted emotions’ through fear, but in his case this seems to be controlled – note the ascetic Sun-Moon in Capricorn located in 8th house, suggesting capacity for facing fear as well as solitude.

Zooming out to look at the entire chart, we see great emphasis on Western hemisphere (right side of the chart). This suggests ‘giving away of self to others, so much so that one’s self is left behind.’ This usually leads to ingratiating behaviors, and being taken for granted. In the process of trying to gain others’ approval, one’s self tends to be lost.

To balance this tendency, one needs to “return to the self”, so to speak, through honoring his/her own needs. I believe a big key for John Gray’s development was the monastic lifestyle he lived; this probably had the effect of strengthening his own identity enough so that he could return to the world and serve others without losing himself.

About Hiroki Niizato

Hiroki Niizato is a professional consulting astrologer in Florida, serving clients in US and abroad. He has been practicing astrology professionally since 2001. Hiroki is a highest honor graduate of the demanding Master’s Degree Certification Course in Astrology by Noel Tyl.

You can contact Hiroki via email at: Hiroki@hniizato.com or Phone: 727-470-4056 to ask a question or schedule a consultation.

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