Student: “When I’m in a relationship, how could I tell if my partner is seriously in love with me, or if she’s just playing a game?”
Teacher: “Now that’s really difficult to answer, because you see, love relationship is a game – so by definition, you’re playing – you’re not there to be serious.”
I don’t know about you, but I thought that was a beautiful explanation of romantic love – if everyone understood it, maybe there would be less hurt feelings.
Where wrong expectations occur
Romantic relationship is definitely a game ruled by Venus – she is all about play and beauty – that’s why we dance together, sing songs, write poems and make each other laugh in a relationship. Venus is charming and fickle, and is not known for being faithful – what we call “a serious relationship” isn’t really her idea.
Marriage and other long term commitments are more under the rule of Saturn – it’s about voluntarily choosing to restrict your options, and within that boundary we try to build something worthwhile and lasting, like a home and a family. We also note that many cultures practiced arranged marriages (some still do today) -which made marriages entirely Saturnian events.
We know that love and responsibilities (seriousness) are both necessary, but it can cause a lot of heartache if the partners go into a relationship with different sets of expectations. It won’t work if you try to bring Saturn into the relationship (i.e demand seriousness & commitment etc) when your partner just wants to be in love, and vice versa.
Giving Venus Her Space in a Long Term Relationship
It takes a special grace to make love happen in a legally committed relationship such as marriage. Knowing that love and seriousness (responsibility) are ruled by different gods, if you will, might help us to honor both: we can be playful yet committed. The partners may feel stifled if the relationship becomes only about responsibilities – and this may make them want to start looking for love outside of the relationship.
The balance between the two gods have to be achieved according to each partner’s make up. Each of us fall somewhere on the spectrum between wanting more playfulness and needing more seriousness. Knowing where your partner is on the scale may help you to appreciate him/her needs better – since it is more likely that you have chosen someone that have different needs from you.