But that’s what I was trying to do, for so many years. My mentor told me “You do this because
it’s safer to live there – you get to disconnect from painful feelings.”
And there is some power in the intellect. Enough to get the job done and be paid well. In terms of the level of joy, though, you end up very poor because you’ve left home.
“There is a feeling of deadness in my chest” one person told me in a consultation some time ago. He was a successful professional, but was making the same mistake.
The flight to the closed space in our head (left side) is a reaction that some of us will choose, as a result of painful experience some time in the past. We could expect it if the horoscope has heavily Scorpio/Plutonian emphasis, as well as a strong Mercury complex. It’s like we begin to rely on our strength just a little too much, and try to make life work from the head, detached from the rest of us.
The result is that the ego becomes defined by intellect and control. The feeling of power that comes from living in our head overcompensates for the underlying powerlessness.
Neptune/Pisces complex is antithetical to all of this, and it requires that you give up control. I am presently going through a major transit called Neptune square Sun/Moon midpoint, and living from the head stopped working entirely in my relationships.
So one night it got so bad, and I was on my knees praying (something I haven’t done in a long time), and suddenly something broke open: I felt a sense of peace and grace that I haven’t experienced in years – it was like I was liberated from this tiny cage that was the left side of my brain, and there was this vast space filled with wind and light.
At the moment I was praying, basically I gave up control of my life as I seemed to be making a mess of it, and have asked the higher power (whatever you want to call it) to run my life. And everything came into place – emotionally, relationship wise, and now I think and work better.
All this is to say that I have a Scorpio Sun with Pisces rising, and a very strong Mercury. The balance was lost, and this Neptunian transit was the period when the balance was restored. Now I’m praying a lot more, and trying to let in the higher power in everything – so this seems to be one of the significant spiritual breakthroughs of my life.
If you have similar experiences under Neptunian transit, please feel free to email me or add comments below. Thanks for reading, and happy Independence Day!