Moon and Experience of Early Emotional Bonding

The Primal Mother-Child Bond
Moon in a horoscope represents the quality of initial bonding that takes place between a mother and her baby – arguably, it is the deepest and most passionate link we will ever form with the outer world, as our life – being a newborn – literally depends on the strength and endurance of this bond.

Every connection that comes after this initial bonding will be defined in comparison to that first relationship, albeit subconsciously: we tend to expect the same type/strength of emotional expression, as well as wanting to maintain the same length and depth of affectionate communication we enjoyed with our mother.

(Some examples: How often and how long did your mother hold you in her arms and spoke to you lovingly before turning her attention to something else? If your mother had mood swings or fits of temper, how many good days were you able to have with her before she lost it? How many bad days? If your parents fought a lot, how many good days were you able to have before a fight?)

As children we cannot choose what we will bond with – what if we see in our mother’s eyes, instead of love and admiration, a resentment or lack of interest? We may have no choice but to bond with whatever level of hostility or disinterest we perceive in the environment, and to begin defining our world from that primal template (i.e. expecting certain level of anger or emotional disconnection as the norm in relationships.)

This may explain why some people need more “space” than others in relationships or some couples fight more often than others. Often an ethnic culture carries its own relational template, which is passed down from generations – thus giving some culture a reputation for being passionate, while giving others a reputation for being restrained*.

Moon in Your Natal Horoscope – The Quality of Early Bonding
While the entire horoscope must be studied to assess the quality of the early bonding experience, the sign, house and aspect placement of the natal Moon offer some clues. I’ll list a few key measurements that stand out in analysis:

  • Moon in Fire Sign and/or Mars-Moon aspect will increase the need for independence and ego gratification. The question is, how did this come about? Was there a great deal of time spent alone, or a special reward given for exceptional performance?
  • Moon in Air Sign, and/or Moon – Mercury or Venus aspect will accelerate the urge to connect and communicate with the environment. What factors facilitated communication in the early environment? Were there siblings that acted as continuous friends? Was the communication around you positive?
  • Moon in Earth Sign and/or Saturn aspect will increase practical orientation. How did the environment make you aware of the real world issues around you? What caused you to grow up so early?
  • Moon in Water Sign and/or Neptune increases emotional sensitivity and introversion. How sensitive were your parents? What caused you to hurt, and to be afraid of being hurt?
  • Moon – Jupiter aspect will increase expectations for reward. How were you rewarded as a child, and how does it influence your motivation today? What was your mother hoping for in life?
  • Moon – Uranus aspect will increase the intensity of the above expressions, as well as adding further element of individuality – What disrupted the flow of mother-child bonding? How can you come back to center?
  • Moon – Pluto aspect will increase emotional power, intensity and weight. How powerful was the mother, and how was the power used in relation to the child?


Conclusion

These are small examples of how we may approach the question of early life bonding experience. What I find is that, even in adult life, a challenging relationship situation tends to evoke an emotional experience that is similar to that of my early childhood (e.g. fear of abandonment, or insecurity about self) – it is as if the universe brings up these emotions in order for me to heal them properly.

If you have your own story about a mother-child bonding that is reflected within your horoscope, please feel free to share through emails or comments.

*note that Asian culture in general are more restrained in emotional expression, as the shame-based value system is passed down from generations. In Japanese art forms (such as haiku, noh or sumie), rather than do away with this restraint, they try to work within it by mastering the art of expressing more emotions while saying less.

About Hiroki Niizato

Hiroki Niizato is a professional consulting astrologer in Florida, serving clients in US and abroad. He has been practicing astrology professionally since 2001. Hiroki is a highest honor graduate of the demanding Master’s Degree Certification Course in Astrology by Noel Tyl.

You can contact Hiroki via email at: Hiroki@hniizato.com or Phone: 727-470-4056 to ask a question or schedule a consultation.

Comments

  1. Psychic Accordionist says:

    My mother's Moon is 13 Pisces and my Sun is 8 Pisces. My Moon is 8 Aquarius in the 6th house. My mom & I had a tense relationship when I was young. She was rather remote, not touchy-feely at all, and years later she admitted that she didn't want to make the same 'mistake' her own mother made, which was treat her daughter as if she was 'special'. Instead of encouraging me to develop my musical abilities when I was young, my mom told me to learn to type and work in an office. (Very 6th house.)

    Now that we're older, we are much better friends. (Moon in Aquarius relates to the 11th house.) Also, at the risk of sounding self-important, I believe that my mother and I chose each other for some things I could teach her (wide conjunction between her Moon and my Sun). She seeks my advice now on spiritual matters.

  2. Hiroki Niizato says:

    Dear PA,

    Thank you for sharing your story! Your experience seems very fitting for Aquarius Moon (opposite of Leo etc.)

    Much appreciated,
    Hiroki

  3. Hiroki, really loved this post, I realise I'm very attached to the moon (may be coz I lost my mother at 19). She was a double Pisces, I have a Pisces ascendant but my Moon in Gemini is inconj Jupiter, square Uranus & Pluto, conj IC. Yes, life with my mother was tempestuous, partly through the fact she was depressed for a lot of her life, why? I think she wanted love and never found it with my dad (a Virgo). I am a lot like her looks and personality wise (I'm a Scorpio) and I really didn't like her very much, she was highly emotional, volatile, extreme and on and off, perfect for the Uranus/Pluto connections to my moon. Only recently through some counselling have realised that I had a huge fear of abandonment as my mother most of my life was not there for my sister and I, certainly not emotionally and mostly not physically. I felt like my mother lived through me in some ways, you know as a mother whose daughter's looks are similar to hers, lost lives etc.

  4. Hiroki Niizato says:

    Dear Lise,

    Thank you very much for sharing your experience – very well put! With such volatility during childhood, a feeling of safety and trust becomes something to work for, a worthy accomplishment within later adult relationships.

    Kind regards,
    Hiroki

  5. This post really brings tears to my eyes. I think bonding with family: especially mother is important, but I have a Moon-Uranus square, so it has always been: taking her mood swings and not being able to depend on her emotionally. But over the years I began to treat her like roommate, and things got better we went to church. But I think she’ll always be crazy, but she has a Moon-Saturn conjunction, so she’s responsible, just not emotionally responsive.

  6. Hello,
    I have moon in scorpio in the 12th house. I have difficulty remembering much of my childhood. The clues come in what relationships I attracted in adult life.
    I loved what you said here: “defining our world from that primal template (i.e. expecting certain level of anger or emotional disconnection as the norm in relationships.)” That really struck a chord with me. All of my friends seemed to be very angry and resentful of me…hmmm. I do remember feeling angry at my mother as a teenager but didn’t know why. I know there was no physical affection in my home and expressing feelings was not allowed. Being happy: “don’t be so full of yourself”, being sad: “go away and don’t come back until you stop. If you don’t leave, I will just pretend I don’t notice your crying and ignore you.”, being angry: “oh don’t you dare!”, etc. I learned to never show any emotion ever and realized I felt ashamed at my joy and my smile.
    I’m 45 now and see so much clearly now and feel very happy most of the time. I want solitude most of the time too. After my mother passed last year, I stopped communication with all of my friends. I finally felt empowered to stop playing out the role of “egg shell walker”, ignorer of put downs and simply took the reigns of MY glorious life!

  7. Hi,
    I have moon in Scorpio in the 8th house. Also, my moon is in aspect with Pluto, sun aspects pluto, and mars aspects Pluto.
    I have a really hard time dealing with my mother. I think it’s something of a mother wound. Fortunately, I had a very , very good relationship with my father. He was always there for me I looked up to him. However, he passed away when I was 15.
    Ever since I remember, my relationship with my mother has been a power issue. I wish to improve our relationship and work it out, however, she doesn’t care. She is more concerned with her friends and relatives rather than the quality of relationship with her eldest born. I know she loves me at some level, I just can’t reach her. She doesn’t seem to have much emotional depth, or independence.
    Also, I have south node in cancer and north node in Capricorn. I think I’m at the point where I think it’s best to accept it as it is and make the best of it, while focusing on my career and north node. I have Saturn in Capricorn and I think my first Saturn return is nearby.

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