11th House: Receiving Love from Others

11th house

11th House in Astrology: Love Received from Others

Noel Tyl defines the 5th House as “the love we give to others,” and the opposing 11th house as the love we receive from others.

11th House Tension and “Not Feeling Lovable”

When the ruler of 11th house is under strong developmental tension (i.e. forming a hard aspect with Mars, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune or Pluto), quite often there is a feeling of “not being lovable,” based on accumulated feelings of criticism, rejection or abandonment.

As 10th house is the derivative 12th house of 11th, a problematic relationship with the father often contributes to the feeling of not being lovable. A retrograde Saturn is usually involved, and reinforces the possibility of a remote/problematic father that didn’t show affection or leadership.

 

Strong Need for Love

The presence of Saturn or outer planets (Uranus, Neptune or Pluto) within 11th house intensifies the need for receiving love.   You might feel frustrated, upset, sad or even enraged when your partner doesn’t meet your expectations.

Often such difficulties are signals that point out your need to be more self-reliant, expressive, spiritually fulfilled or emotionally restored.

 

Developing Our Ability to Receive Love

Even though it’s easy to think of “receiving love” as being entirely up to someone else’s will, in truth we play quite an active part in how much love we experience from our children, friends or partners. Sometimes being receptive to love is as much a learned skill as giving love is.

Experts say that we all differ in the way we prefer to give and receive love. The way we prefer to give love (e.g. through verbal expressions, affectionate behaviors, or tangible gifts, etc) is often the way we’d like to receive it. It’s possible that your partner is showing you many signs of his or her love for you, but you don’t recognize them because they don’t come in the form you expect.

How many signs can you find that others love you? How do you receive other people’s compliments, helpful ideas or concerns (e.g. with indifference or with appreciation)? You may realize that you’re receiving a lot more love and care from your family, friends and partner than you believed.

 

Photo: MizzChievouz

About Hiroki Niizato

Hiroki Niizato is a professional consulting astrologer in Florida, serving clients in US and abroad. He has been practicing astrology professionally since 2001. Hiroki is a highest honor graduate of the demanding Master’s Degree Certification Course in Astrology by Noel Tyl.

You can contact Hiroki via email at: Hiroki@hniizato.com or Phone: 727-470-4056 to ask a question or schedule a consultation.

Comments

  1. Thank you so much for your perspective. I have never really looked at the 11th house that way. This article has provided much needed healing and change of perspective. the item about fathers is especially helpful. I will be contacting you for a consultation soon! Thanks again!

  2. My son has Saturn [conjunct Jupiter, go figure] in the 11th, and I was always curious on how it would manifest for him. As of now, he doesn’t have many friends in school, and it really affects him. He is definetly ahead of his time, and I also see he has little tolerance for shortcomings in the few freinds he has. I’ve always said that he is a 34 year old trapped in a 7 yr old’s body

    love your site Hiroki :)

    • Hello Melissa,

      Thank you for your comment. Saturn in 11th house suggests a great need for love – conjunction with Jupiter might mean positive associations with older people, or better friendships as he gets older.

  3. Very interesting and insightful actually. I have Saturn and Neptune retrograde conjunct in the 11th opposite Venus in the 5th. So…its difficult. Love hurts. Enraged is really the word, I never feel loved and somehow I feel that the “other” is bent on destroying my identity. So I’m just by myself. I’m quite lonely. But I kinda like feeling self sufficient.

  4. jennifer says:

    Hi Hiroki

    That’s very intriguing. Do personal planets in 11th have similar meaning? I have Sun, Mercury, with Venus a degree from the cusp. My north node is also in 11th. I would be really interested in hearing your take on that hopefully.
    Thank you for anything you can share.

    Kind regards Jennifer

    • Hi Jennifer, with 3 planets in the 11th house it’s possible that there is a strong need of love, although I’d rather ask you how you feel :)

      I wouldn’t draw conclusions unless there is a strong developmental tension (i.e. hard aspect from Mars, Saturn or outer planets) formed against any of those planets in the 11th house.

  5. jennifer says:

    Thanks for responding Hiroki

    That’s a very good question! I do have this tendency to feel unloved which seems to hit me in waves as opposed to a constant feeling that l carry always. When I am going through it I need validation and attention otherwise I descend into a mini depression but it doesn’t last for any long drawn out period.

    7th house Saturn at 4 deg Pisces widely trines my Sun at 12 deg Cancer so not sure how much of a tension that is – my 10th house Mars is at 11 Gemini semi sextiles my Sun and again not sure what kind of tension that would be. Mars very widely conjuncts Venus 21 Gemini.

    It’s amazing how if we understood our charts we wouldn’t take some of our ‘stuff’ so personally and would learn how to navigate through them to build in counteractive mechanisms. Hope that makes sense.

    Thanks again

  6. Tengo 5 planetas en la casa 11 sol en tauro,luna,marte,mercurio y venus en aries.q significa tantos planetas en ducha casa?

  7. My daughter has Saturn rx, 11th house, Libra. Her Saturn makes a quincunx to her Sun in 4th, Aries. It saddens me as a mother to see this ‘bad’ aspect, especially because I know how it is to have a bad relationship with my own father. Her sun also squares Pluto, 2nd house, Capricorn. Can you please offer insights about her Saturn, please?

    • Hi Amber, Saturn Rx in 11th house suggests a strong need for love triggered by (most likely) a distant or problematic relationship with her father. How is it going in real life for you and your family? Feel free to schedule a consultation if you’d like me to take a closer look at her horoscope.

  8. Hi Hiroki,

    Very interesting! My son has Saturn in the 11th house (virgo) opposing Jupiter and uranus (pisces but 1 degree to Aries) in the 5th house. He likes his peers at school but rarely opens up to them when they come to him with a smile which sometimes makes them turn away from him because he rarely returns the smile. I am afraid he will suffer from loneliness or rejection because of his stern exterior.
    Also his jupiter/uranus square his venus in 8th house (cancer).
    It is hard.
    Thank you so much!!

    • Hi Vanessa, thank you for commenting and sharing your son’s experience. With Saturn in 11th house it may take a bit of time before he can start gathering the respect from his peers – this is because Saturnian traits such as integrity, responsibility, organization and mastery need to be developed before Saturn can start working well in a house.

      • Thank you for your insight!
        Do you think the opposition to Uranus will make it even harder for him to be comfortable in social situation?

  9. Dear Hiroki, I really appreciate your interpretation of hard aspects in the house 11. May I share my experience?
    I have 11 house saturn conj venus (both in aries). Sun in pisces in 10 house. the interpretation is to be more confident so I can receive love. But not easy as my moon in capricorn squares uranus and is in opposition with my ascendant. I tried to get totally independant from my family because I could not count on my mother and father was cold. on the other hand I really am a great helper of others. it feels strange to receive love from friends. I think why they are helping me? I also had many relationship issues in this way, and quit because I either felt I cannot meet their needs, or in reverse they did not meet mine. I try to overcome, but feels very challenging with all the traumas in the past. thank you , cheers gabby

    • Hello Gabby,

      Thank you for sharing your experience with your Saturn and Venus in 11th house (the conjunction suggests the need for integrity and responsibility in love). The 11th house placement suggests a great need for love, and the classic interpretation is that the situation will get better as you mature in the way you relate to others.

  10. Hi Hiroki,
    that is very comforting to know, I like to mature in love and relationships, but keep my youth ;-)
    All the best,
    Gabby

  11. Thank you very much for your perspective!
    I have Saturn in the 11th house; the ruler of the 5th house is Venus and my Venus is in scorpio conjunct Pluto. I usually feel ‘not being lovable’ as well as something is lacking in relationship in general. Now these placements make a lot more sense. I truly need to work on self-reliance and spiritual fulfillment.

    Thank you again.

  12. Hello Hiroki,

    My 11th (Scorpio or Libra) and 5th house (Aries or Taurus) are both empty. And I cannot figure out in which sign these houses are. 7th also empty in Gemini.

    How do I interprete my chart considering giving or receiving love then? How do I receive love from others when these houses aren’t occupied?

    • Hi Gid, I removed your birth data since this is a public forum. Empty houses do not mean that you won’t have any activities in these areas. You can look at the house ruler’s (the planet that rules the cusp of each house) condition to see the quality of experience and challenges that are suggested.

  13. MEDITATION says:

    Hi hiroki,
    My 11th house is in sagittarius (sagittarius on the cusp of the 10th and 11th). However I have Mars, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune all conjunct in Capricorn (still in the 11th house). Saturn and Uranus are in opposition to my moon in the 5th house (Gemini). My life so far I’ve experienced a lot of emotional turmoil from extreme happiness to extreme pain. How can I receive love better and be enjoy a calmer yet passionate kind of love please?

    • Hello Meditation, the ability to receive love depends on your ability to accept and love yourself fully. Developing deeper self-acceptance is an ongoing journey with many hidden layers, but a worthwhile pursuit.

  14. I never knew about this angle concerning 11th house!
    My 11th is empty cancer. Moon in Mc aspecting many planets and all the angles. Conj mars and chiron. Oppo saturn and uranus. I have to say that I really really know me self worth! I truly do! I know all my strenghts and weaknesses very well. I have a Sun merc Opp pluto and a great self insight. So I have never felt worthless per say. BUT I have never been in a relationship, even though I have an easy time drawing men towards me. So I often have thought I’m not “pretty” enough to hold a guys interest. But I know its not true, its just a feeling. I am very charismatic and Personality wise I know I’m a great person with a kind heart. And I have bad sides too that I truly work on.

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